Students have been e-mailing me jokes about a variety of topics for several years, and I have saved some of these.  Check them out!

• Most Recent Jokes
• Older Jokes
• Old Jokes
• Really Old Jokes
• Strange Facts

A man takes a balloon ride at a local country fair.  A fierce wind suddenly kicks up, causing the balloon to violently leave the fair and carry its occupant out into the countryside.  The man has no idea where he is, so he goes down to about 20 feet above the ground.  He asks a passing stranger, "excuse me, sir, can you tell me where I am?"

Eyeing the man in the balloon, the passerby says, "You are in a big, red balloon, 20 feet above the ground."

The balloon's unhappy occupant replies, "You must be an economist."

"How could you possibly know that?" asks the passerby.

"Because your answer is technically correct, but absolutely useless, and the fact is, I'm still lost!"

"Then you must be in management", said the passerby.

"That's right!  How did you know?" asked the balloonist.

"You have such a good view from where you are and yet you don't know where you are and you don't know where you are going.  The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now your problem is somehow my fault!"

• Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn't fire, but shouted in triumph, "We got it! We got it!"

• Two economists were walking down the street when they noticed two women yelling across the street at each other from their apartment windows.  "Of course, they will never come to agreement," stated the first economist. "And why is that?," inquired his companion.  "Why, of course, because they are arguing from different premises."

• An middle-aged economics professor is standing at the shallow end of the campus pool, and a female student of his is standing at the deep end taking pictures, when she suddenly drops the camera into the pool.  She then motions for the professor to come to her.  He walks over to her, and she asks him to retrieve the camera.  Flattered, he agrees, dives in and retrieve it.  Upon returning, he says to her, "Why did you ask me to retrieve the camera, when there are a number of younger and more athletic males closer to you?"  She replied, "Professor, you seem to forget that I'm in your economics class; I don't know anyone who can go down deeper, stay down longer, or come up drier than you."

• Q: How many Chicago School economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it.

• Q: How many mainstream economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to assume the existence of a ladder and one to change the bulb.

• Q: How many labor economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It depends on the wage rate.

• Q: How many conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: None.  The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.
A2: None.  If it really needed changing, market forces would have caused it to happen.
A3: None.  If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
A4. None.  There is no need to change the light bulb.  All the conditions for illumination are already in place.
A5. None, because, look!  It's getting brighter!  It's definitely getting brighter !!!
A6. None; they're all waiting for the invisible hand to change it.

• An economist is someone who doesn't know what he's talking about -- and make you feel it's your fault.

Here are some famous quotes about economists.

Want to read the funny papers?  This site has all your favorite cartoons, along with your least favorite ones.

And there's also the Centre for the Easily Amused...

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. The lord of the manor lets you keep some of the milk.

IDEAL SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

SOCIALISM, BUREAUCRATIC VERSION: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government pays you, but won't let you buy milk or eggs with your money unless you have ration coupons.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, makes you take care of them, sells you the milk, and shoots you if you don't cooperate.

IDEAL COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

THE MAOIST VERSION: You have two cows. The government launches a campaign to convince you to donate them "voluntarily" to make meat for workers in the city. Then the government decides that people don't need cows to make milk. Quoting the correct phrases from your little red book, you and your neighbors try to create milk from sheer willpower. Your local party leader reports that you have exceeded all expectations. Your neighbors starve.

THE CAMBODIAN VERSION: You have two cows. The government sends a teenager in a red bandana to shoot them, then he shoots you.

AUTOCRACY: You have two cows. The government lets you keep them, but drafts you and your cows starve.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them, takes both cows, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

IDEAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

MONOPOLY CAPITALISM: You have two cows, and try to buy a bull. However, a bull would cost you two cows, and the only conglomerate buying milk charges you to do so.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

More versions of this were contributed by Joe D'Avila:

A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful, so you vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the  tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
 
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge others for storing them.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A MEXICAN CORPORATION: You think you have two cows, but you're not sure because you don't know what a cow looks like. You take a siesta.

A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.